So I’ve been working out somewhat regularly again lately, and yes, I was doing it even before pigging out all Thanksgiving weekend. For cardio, I dusted off my Bas Rutten MMA Workout a few months ago. It’s a simple but effective product. Basically it’s just an audio program where Bas calls out punch and kick combinations in either 10 rounds of 2 minutes each or 7 rounds of 3 minutes each, with 1 minute of rest between rounds. When I started doing the program again back in August, I couldn’t get thru the seven rounds of even the easier Thai boxing workout. But I stayed at it twice a week and just recently got to the point where I can do the entire routine with all punches and kicks at full power and not getting too sloppy with my technique, even in the later rounds. So last week I decided it was time to bust out the All-Around Fighting disc which is not just punches and kicks, but also sprawls. The sprawl is the action you’re supposed to take when someone is diving at your legs trying to take you down in a fight. Without an actual opponent, the sprawl is just done by planting your hands on the ground and shooting your legs rearward onto your toes, kind of like a wide push-up position, and you’re supposed to do it in as fast and explosive of a motion as possible. And in the workout, you’re supposed to sprawl and then get immediately back up on your feet, ready to throw the next punch combo. Doesn’t sound too tough, does it? But it is actually very exhausting, especially when Bas calls for sprawls back to back to back. As of today, I am barely able to get through the 10 x 2-minute rounds, and I am getting sloppy as hell with my technique as the rounds progress. There is no way I can even think about attempting 3-minute rounds yet. But still, I feel I am already in way better shape than I was just a few months ago, all thanks to my old pal Bas.

Now that I’ve made such excellent strides in my exercise regimen, it has completely empowered me…… to feel less guilty about giving in to my occasional unhealthy cravings! My most recent indulgences are also very old friends of a sort. Allow me to introduce you:

Let’s start with the box you see in the background which I’m sure most of you are familiar with. Yes, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. They weren’t a craving to start with, just more of an impulse purchase when I was grocery shopping for Thanksgiving dinner. But damn, just like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, when I tasted one again for the first time in probably a decade, I wanted to eat the entire box (12 to a box in case you were wondering). They’re rolls of chocolate cake with creme filling and a chocolate coating. Kind of like Ho Ho’s, only better. Not that I remember how Ho Ho’s differ exactly, but I do remember I always liked Swiss Rolls much better. Have them chilled and they are just killer. Probably literally. These Swiss Rolls are sugar bombs and will almost certainly kill you if you eat too many. They are made with palm oil which is like the worst possible fat you can consume. But they are so addictive, what’s a guy to do? Damn that seductive temptress Little Debbie and her irresistibly moist rolls of ebony perfection. Which reminds me, if you get a chance, please go see my friend Chris Yen in the movie A Good Day To Be Black and Sexy. But I digress, so back to the junk food…

In the foreground of the picture, may I present to you a Pizzeria Uno’s deep dish pizza. But not just any deep dish mind you. No, this particular version is known as the Bianco, and it’s special. Why? Because for some godforsaken reason, Uno’s took it off their menu years ago. I think it was also around the same time that they just as mysteriously stopped using the name Pizzeria Uno and started calling themselves Uno’s Chicago Grill. Sort of like Kentucky Fried Chicken changing their name to KFC, only the opposite. In any case, the Bianco was my favorite of Uno’s pizzas when I was a kid. It is a sauceless pizza with Italian sausage, mushrooms, garlic, mozzarella and romano. I don’t have anything against tomato sauce, and I actually do like Uno’s chunky tomatoes in their sauce, but when you have sauce you run the risk of the crust getting soggy, especially if you are getting your pizza to-go. So there is never a soggy bottom with the Bianco and no pools of liquid collecting on the top either. This is important because mushrooms are dramatically more flavorful when they have their moisture baked out of them. Uno’s sausage is also very highly seasoned, salty with a touch of heat, which really plays well with all the extra bready crust of a deep dish pizza. So anyway, the Bianco was my favorite pizza and I was pissed when they pulled it from the menu. When it was first yanked, I was living in Boston and would go to the Uno’s on Commonwealth Ave in Allston. Whenever a craving hit me, I would call them up and invariably they would not know what a Bianco was, so I’d have to school them on how to make it for me. And as you have probably guessed, that is what I have been able to do here in NY now as well. It’s still not on the actual menu at my local Uno’s but they have entered it in their computer, so now whenever I call I know they can look it up. Mission accomplished. Now maybe we should try to get McDonald’s to bring back the McRib. 🙂