That Ain’t Fighting!

Pride 29 was on pay per view this weekend. They had this freestyle wrestling champion from Azerbaijan fighting against Tamura, a middle tier Japanese fighter. The wrestling dude was one funny mofo. He was jumping around all the time before he’d engage. Then when he wanted to close the distance, his technique was to jump at Tamura, totally mosh pit style. None of the attempts even came close to getting a takedown, and after a couple of times, Tamura decided to time it so that he’d throw a side kick at him just as he was leaping in. Then it got funnier. The jumping dude does another forward leap at Tamura, but this time is practically leading with his crotch. Sure enough, Tamura, who is trying to time a jumping side kick, accidentally knees the guy in his package. They had to call time out to let him recover, all the while showing slow mo replays of the knee to scrote shot. Ten minutes later they resume, more leaping around, then more kicks to the side by Tamura, and then the leaping dude goes into split personality mode. He would stop, look at the ref and wave his hand as if to say no more. Then he’d grab his balls as if to say it hurts too much to go on. Then he’d immediately raise his fists and keep going. He did this like six times before his corner threw in the towel because even they didn’t know what was up with their boy. Granted that guy must be a pretty good wrestler to have made it to the Pride ring, but geez, you’d think maybe he woulda studied ANY of the fights since 1994 in the UFC or Pride, or any MMA event to see what works in terms of closing the distance without getting hit. And how he invented the leaping scrotal attack we’ll never know, but I hope that’s not how they do things in Azerbaijan.

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